5 tips for navigating the addition of a new sibling
Play the “I Want to Be the Baby” song
A sibling relationship is likely among the longest your child will ever have. Research shows that siblings can provide each other with long-lasting security and encourage the development of social skills, flexibility, and empathy.
Introducing a new member of the family can bring a lot of excitement and joy—along with some unknowns. It’s natural to have questions about how your older child will respond to the baby and how your family’s routines and dynamics may shift.
Here’s some expert advice to help ensure a smooth transition:
1. There’s no single right time to tell your child about the new baby
Many parents choose to share the news right away, while others wait until closer to the due date. The eventual arrival of a new baby is an abstract concept for a young child, so use factual, concrete language. You can say, “Mama’s body looks different. A baby is growing inside her, and soon it’s going to come out.”
If your older child is at least 3-years-old, you can add some simple detail: “The baby is growing inside a part of my body called a uterus. They will be a member of our family, and you’ll be a brother.”
2. Encourage pretend play with a doll
Young children make sense of their experiences through play, and a doll can help your child practise interacting with their new sibling. Early pretend play is based on imitation, so let your child see you act out feeding the doll with a bottle, changing its diaper, or putting it to bed. Then invite your child to try.
You can also demonstrate early interactions like gentle touching, tickling, and giving the baby space. Let your child’s interests guide how much—or how little—you encourage them to participate in caring for the baby. For example, if they seem interested in changing the doll’s diaper, you can give them a task they can do without your help, like fetching diapers or wipes.
3. Prepare your older child a week or two before your due date
Explain exactly what will happen and who will take care of them while the baby is being born. If you want your child to be present or you’re planning a home birth, describe what they might see or hear and leave room for questions.
Unless you have a scheduled induction or C-section, explain that you don’t know exactly when the baby will come. A paper calendar—including some special activities or events that are relevant to your child—can help them understand the passage of time before the big day. You can say, “First you’ll have your birthday, then we’ll visit Grandma and Grandpa, and then your new baby sister will be born.”
4. Big feelings are common and natural with such a major change
Sometimes this happens as soon as you bring the baby home, but some older children go through a kind of honeymoon period with their new sibling for the first few months.
You may notice a regression in sleep or toileting behaviour, or perhaps some aggression toward the baby. Young children often test boundaries when they experience a lot of change. This is how they process safety—they want to make sure that the rules and values you set before the change still hold. You can support your older child by giving them control and autonomy within clear limits. Offer choices when you can, but hold the line when your child pushes the boundaries. Consistency helps them feel secure ❤️
5. Encourage strong sibling relationships from the beginning
Let the connection between your children develop on their terms and model relationship-building skills and communication. For example, use empathic language: “I hear the baby. I wonder what they need—would you like to come with me?” If your child says “no,” respect their right to make that choice.
It’s important not to use age as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour. If the baby knocks down your older child’s block tower, you can say something like, “That’s so frustrating that your brother knocked down your tower. Baby brother, your sister was playing with that. I’m going to help her rebuild it.”
Posted in: Parent & Family Life